From the Toy box

This blog is rated AAARRRGGGHHHH!!! for pirates, fuck you.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

A trip, A meeting and not a single photo yet.

Folks, I'm in New Orleans, so far I like the city, the landscape is picturesque, now I just need to take some. The trip on the other hand was 9 kinds of malicious lube free ass rape.  At around 8:30 in the morning I began the checking in process and everything started out just fine, got my ticket and bags checked in a fairly quick manner.

Now let me make this statement, I'm sure many of you have flown since 9/11 and know and have gotten used to the routine of the "strip and get on the probulator" but flying on the anniversary of 9/11, not just any but the 10th anniversary was a level of rape that should be reviewed on afternoon talk shows nationwide. I understand the need for security, trust me I really REALLY do. I've been in a combat zone as a front line Marine. I also understand honoring history, I love history but "something about Americans using a base ten numbering system should not mean we freak out at a round number." ( I heard or read that some where and cant remember where, if anyone knows I'll credit the originator)...

They shut down the security point for 40 minutes right as I was going to get every one of my cavity's violated in oh so many not fun ways. I wait and wait and wait some more. YAY it's open. I proceed to strip and and pass through the metal detector. No beeps! this might not be to bad, then they pat me down. WHY???? for the love of fuck did I pass through the damn thing then, well they pull out my book, A very personal book and what to rifle through it. cause apparently I hid nuclear weapons between the pages of a book no bigger than a pop-tart.

Ok now that they have hassled me over every pocket and triple scanned my possessions they have everyone line up shake my hand and thank me. I seriously wanted to punch small children. I now spend the rest of my time randomly texting people.

Plane arrives proceed to board and I get a chatter next to me. FANTASTIC!!!! I have not slept all night and this guy wants to shop in the sky-mall with me. Die just die. I pass out while hes looking at these Star Trek reject head gear things. I awake in time to catch the drink cart. I order an orange juice, this was about 35 minutes into the flight. a flight that last an hour and 30 minutes. I get my orange juice just as the captain is preparing for finale approach. Thanks American Airlines.

Layover in Dallas, They change gates 5 times in 30 minutes, not just gates, whole fucking terminals. If you have ever been to Dallas Fort Worth Airport, it's fucking HUGE!!! Walt Disney eat a dick i felt like i was on a forced March and thats even with using the mono-rail.

I find the right gate, I grab lunch and proceed to catch a nap for the rest of my 2.5 hour layover. until an old friend wakes me up, this I'm ok with. the mint blast that is running through my mouth. Friends suck.

We go through the pain in the ass boarding process again but this time i get upgraded to the emergency exit because the person who is there doesn't speak English. SCORE!!! now I get literally a 10 min lecture from this thing that looks like a silly puddy copy of Dolly Parton. Just FYI American Airlines cares more about keeping their damned emergency exit doors than they do about impeding their passengers from exiting the craft in the event of am emergency landing.

Once again I pass out and once again I place my drink order upon waking up and guess when I got my drink. Fuck you American Airlines, just fuck off.

Now I'm in New Orleans. the food is great and city is beautiful from the roof of the hotel and I am visiting the Graveyards and other sites soon. Expect pictures very very soon.

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